Tuesday 24 September 2013

i love you

Sorry for the late blog, yesterday I felt particularly uninspired & outrageously unmotivated. My kids were wilder, slightly grumpier little people and while I wouldn't say I was feeling sorry for myself, I spent the day feeling less like a mother & more like a zoo keeper.
I sat on the lounge thinking about all the things I should have been doing and the house work that wasn't doing itself, while my kids fought over a toy they both have one each of, (and have never shown any interest in), trying to string a sentence together, that wasn't "is this day over?".
Then as I scrolled through my Facebook and Instagram pages, I came across a photo, a photo that put my "bad day" into perspective and got me feeling more than inspired.
A photo a friend posted of himself and his very frail, terminally ill sister. It shocked me out of my self-indulgent state and made me count my blessings and got me thinking.
This photo was one of a series, each photo with the ill sister, one surrounded by her brothers & sisters, one with aunties & uncles and one with nieces and nephews. These photos were significant, because with not much time left, they would soon be a precious memory of a life taken to soon.
Each photo had beautiful sentiments posted under it, "I love you my sister", "you're my hero girl!" ... Words of great love, words of inspiration, a sense that if this young lady had more time, there would be many things people would wish her to achieve, many things they would re-do and words they would have said more of.

So why do we wait? Why is it in people's darkest hours, in the last moments of a persons life we try and cram in the love and emotion of a life time? Why is it that many times, funerals are the only time people openly speak highly of another in a group situation and share stories of great love and laughter?
I found myself thinking of all the people who fill my life with love and have helped to make me the person I am today. The people who still surround me, both physically & from a distance, with their love and light.
It made me realise that I don't often express just how much I truly appreciate and love the people in my life, specially those who live thousands of kilometres away and still continue to be my greatest supporters and best motivators.
I'm not going to wait anymore, I want them to know exactly how I feel, how much I love them, how much better my life has and continues to be for having them in it. Not because their days are numbered, but because if they were I'd want to have told them a million times how much they meant.
To each and every one of my girlfriends, I want you to know that both individually and collectively you are the most supportive, understanding & inspiring girls I have come across. You have stood at my side on some of the most important days of my life and been the light at the end of the tunnel in my darkest hours.I love you.
Mum, you have always been a rock solid, love giving, trust keeping, truth telling, power house of a parent, you have played the good guy and the bad guy, been my biggest supporter and toughest critic and taken on the role of mother and father for a lot longer than most people would know. Every compliment I receive on my parenting, every positive affirmation about me as a person and each step towards success I achieve is because you made me a better person, friend, sister and mother.I love you.
To my brother & sister, thank you for keeping me grounded, loving me at every shape & size, for reminding me no matter what, I was important, needed and loved. I love you.
My husband, thank you for loving me at my worst, marrying me at my biggest, encouraging me to get to my fittest and giving me the two most precious gifts I will ever receive. I love you.
London and Kairo, Mummy has you, more than anyone to thank for showing me the beauty in the simple things in life, for teaching me time is more important than money, laughter is the best medicine & that the most important job in the world, is in fact not a job at all. I love you more than any words can articulate.
Too all the beautiful people I have loved and lost, I'm sorry I didn't come to this realisation sooner, I'm sorry I didn't put into words just how much you meant to me, until it was too late. I love you.
Life is too short, tomorrow isn't promised and right here and now is the best time to tell the people who mean the most just how much you love them.
Don't wait, share stories, express feelings, show love and make the most of every moment.
If the washing doesn't do itself and the dishes sit an extra hour on the bench, so that I can squeeze my children a little longer, sit with my husband a little sooner or call my mum more often, then so be it.
I want to make sure that there is never any questions on just how important or how loved the people in my life have and continue to be.
I just want you to know... I love you.

Image from http://www.artfire.com/

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